Being a helpful peer on Imperative can be simple — it involves being present, being a curious listener, and creating an environment for your partner to share openly. Here are some ideas to keep in mind.
Before your conversation:
- Take a few minutes before your conversation to finish your work and be fully present for your conversation.
- Put your phone and other devices away to minimize distractions so you can focus.
- Ensure you are in a physical space that allows for a confidential conversation.
Confidentiality:
- Conversations on Imperative are designed for two peers to help each other do their best thinking. It’s important each conversation begins with the understanding that each of you will create a space to share openly and trust each other with the stories you share. Always assume confidentiality unless your partner tells you otherwise.
Build rapport:
- We all bring a variety of identities and experiences, and the conversations will prompt us to share our own stories. Build trust with your partner and foster psychological safety by giving them permission to show up as their authentic self in your conversation, without worrying about judgment. For example, “As your partner, I give you permission to speak candidly and honestly about your point of view. My place is not to judge you, but simply to listen and understand.”
Be an active listener:
- Encourage self-reflection. When responding, help your partner to reflect and come up with their own ideas and solutions rather than try to solve their problem or provide advice.
- Be fully engaged with your partner. Try not to interrupt when it’s their turn to speak.
- Get comfortable with silence. If your partner takes a while to respond, give them time and space to gather their thoughts.
- Pay attention to non-verbal cues like facial expressions and body language. Share your observations with your partner and ask what they’re feeling.
- Check your understanding by summarizing what you’ve heard them share.
- Be curious and ask clarifying follow-up questions.
- Use open-ended questions (rather than yes/no questions) that begin with “How” or “What”. This helps you dig deeper. Examples: “How did you feel when…” “What was meaningful about…”
- Don’t feel like you need to have all the answers. It’s fine to offer insight or advice, but the best coaches allow others to flex their own muscles.